The Talk
by motown lady
Summary: Lee and Amanda now engaged, have discussed past relationships except for two which they find aren't easy to share. It's just my take on what may have occurred.
1. Chapter 1

The Talk

Chapter 1

After work, Lee and Amanda went back to his place to finish the talk they'd started at the Agency about their past relationships.

But there were two people left out of the discussion. Until now.

Amanda had already told her mother not to hold dinner as she'd be late tonight.

As they entered the apartment Lee asked, "How about a drink?"

Amanda nervously answered, "No thanks. I'm a bit keyed up for some reason."

Lee nodded and commented, "Yeah, me too. Let's sit down then, huh?"

As they sat down on the couch they eyed each other cautiously and then Amanda shrugged finally stating, "Oh, c'mon! Why is this so hard all of a sudden? We've already told each other what we need to-"

But Lee shook his head slowly and responded, "Not exactly, Honey. There are still two people we left out of the equation to avoid discussing but I think we should take care of that now. You agree?"

Amanda knew what was coming and nodded slowly and sighed replying, "So, another coin toss?"

Lee smiled and grinning commented, "No, but how about the old adage, "Ladies first?"

Amanda shook her head and groaning remarked, "This is just like when you pressed me about my divorce-"

Lee protested, "Hey! It was about the case on Joe, remember?"

Amanda pointed her finger at him and shook her head again stating, "No! Not the stuff I told you about. That wasn't in the file! You know it wasn't-"

Lee put up both hands and shrugged responding, "Okay! Is it a crime to care about someone? Because if it was I'd have been in jail a long time ago."

Amanda smirked and then sighed as Lee waited.

Finally Amanda nodded and queried, "So. You wanna know about Jim, huh?"

Lee nodded adding, "And not what was in the file, okay? I mean-"

Amanda remarked, "I know, I know. But this isn't easy to talk about. I never even told my mother."

Seeing the expression on Lee's face then she responded, "Gee, I can't wait until we get to your person."

What was she going to tell him? Was he ready for it? He thought, Ah, it won't be that bad. If he could handle the Joe stuff, then he could handle this.

Amanda stood up and slowly began pacing the room and stated, "Joe and I planned a weekend away the year after Jamie was born. I got a brochure from a travel agency and found a terrific place at Hilton Head. So I had arranged everything and Mother of course was going to stay with the boys. But then Joe had this last minute arbitration thing that someone asked him to help with so he couldn't go and told me since I had it paid for already, that maybe Mother and the boys could go along with me."

Lee then noticed Amanda falter a bit as she went toward the living room window to look out.

She shook her head stating quietly, "I guess things started to change then between us but I didn't really see it. I mean we loved each other but in some ways love just isn't enough, you know?"

Lee cleared his throat and replied, "I'm sorry. Maybe this isn't a good idea now-"

Amanda then whirled around and shook her head commenting firmly, "No! Don't do that! Don't placate me, Lee. I want our marriage to be what it's supposed to be. Love without questions. communication, trust and respect for one another. Enough to build on. Lee, we have to keep talking because if we don't we won't have a shot in hell of lasting! Don't you think so?"

Lee swallowed hard and nodded answering, "You're right, Amanda. From what you told me in your marriage to Joe I know it couldn't have been easy for you and although I'm not the best at communicating, I'll do whatever I can to help when things come up, okay? So, please. Go ahead."

Amanda nodded and replied, "Thank you, Sweetheart. So, he and I argued a while and then it was decided that I would go. Alone. Then we went to bed. He went to the den and I went upstairs. Mother says she and Daddy never went to bed angry. But here I was married almost four years and I was angry and hurt. We needed this time away and it was as if he had rejected me, you know?"

Sitting down on the couch again Amanda remarked, "Think I will have a drink after all."

As Lee got up to get their drinks he shook his head. Ah, Joe. You were a real jerk. But it's not for me to judge here. I have to let Amanda tell me about this in her own way. If she wants my opinion she'll ask for it...

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

The Talk

Chapter 2

Lee brought their drinks over handing Amanda hers before sitting down himself.

He stated, "I meant what I said before, Amanda. We really don't have to do this now. After all, we'll have the rest of our lives to-"

But Amanda taking a sip of her drink immediately put it down on the coffee table and shook her head replying, "No. I think we should take care of the old business so we can start fresh, Lee. I don't want us to later wonder about the importance that other people we were with had on our lives at the time. Besides, if things were to change here-"

Lee protested firmly, "Hey! That is not going to happen! Are you saying you don't trust my love for you?"

Amanda patted Lee's arm gently and responded, "Of course I do, just like you do mine. But things happen and-"

Lee sighed and getting up took his turn to pace as he shook his head answering, "Whew...your first marriage really did a number on you, didn't it?"

Amanda shrugged and replied sadly, "Well, when you grow up with the notion of marrying until death do you part it does something to your psyche when it fails, you know?"

Lee looked at her intently then and asked, "Wait. You don't blame yourself for what happened, do you?"

Amanda sighed and remarked quietly, "Well we didn't talk like we should have and I'm thinking that if we had, the marriage wouldn't have happened at all. Gosh, I don't think I've ever said that aloud before."

Swallowing hard she added, "But then I wouldn't have had those sweet boys. I don't regret them for a second. Best part of my life, along with you of course."

Lee joined her again on the couch and squeezed her hand gently stating, "Thanks, Honey. Now, about Hilton Head?"

Amanda began, "Well, I left the next morning. The boys were already at Mother's the night before so I went over to say goodbye. She sensed there was a problem but I told her we'd talk when I got back, that Joe wasn't going after all."

Continuing she remarked, "Got to Hilton Head before lunch and unpacked at the hotel. I wasn't all that hungry for lunch anyway so I just went to the beach nearby and took a walk. I guess I'd been gone a while because I noticed a man jogging on the beach and he must have passed me at least three times. That and the light was dimming. He stopped and asked me if I was all right. I told him I was and then he asked if I was hungry."

Lee didn't like where this could be heading and asked cautiously, "And?"

Amanda shrugged and responded, "I told him I'd be having dinner with my husband but I thanked him for asking anyway."

Lee bewildered replied, "That was it? He believed you?"

Amanda chuckled stating, "Lee, he'd have to have been blind not to notice the ring on my finger and the subtle way I was telling him I wasn't available. Sheesh!"

Lee sighed and remarked, "Amanda, that doesn't always work with guys-"

Amanda responded, "Are you saying back in the day that you were one to hit on a married woman?"

Lee flabbergasted answered, "Of course not! I knew enough not to approach them. But if they happened to be in a bar and engaging in conversation with someone already, I assumed that they were more or less alone at the time. Nonetheless, I never made the first move-"

Amanda shook her head stating, "Always the gentleman, weren't you?"

Lee cleared his throat and remarked, "Could we get back to your story, please?"

Amanda sighed and answered, "You always deflect when you don't like where a conversation is going, don't you?"

Lee replied firmly, "Amanda, please?"

Amanda put up her hand saying, "All right, all right. Anyway when I got back to my room, I called Mother to see how the boys were. She said they were fine but asleep. She'd fed them dinner early and then told me Joe called her to ask what the number to my hotel was. He told her he'd lost my note I left him with the number I could be reached at."

Taking another sip of her drink she then stated, "Anyway after we said goodnight I called down to the front desk to see if there were any messages. There weren't any so I called him at the house. No answer but I left a message for him to call me later. I then decided to go have something light in the hotel restaurant and found the same man from the beach coming in when I was almost finished eating. It did unnerve me a little so I decided to ask him what was going on-"

Lee pointed his finger at her commenting, "A-ha! So he did want something-"

Amanda waved him away and remarked protesting, "Will you stop it? Anyway, he was there for a meeting but it had been cancelled. He swore he hadn't been following me but he again noticed I was alone. Before I knew it, we were having a drink and then went for a walk around the hotel area just talking. I found myself telling him I was there for the weekend and that my husband was working and was delayed in getting there."

Sighing as she recalled the events she responded, " Jim Cernin was someone I never imagined a real connection with. Not physical mind you, but we began talking about everything. It got real late and he asked if we could meet for breakfast the next day. I wasn't sure what I should do, just in case I heard from Joe. He understood my hesitancy and apologized for being so forward but said he'd never met anyone like me before who was on the same intellectual level that he was on-"

Lee groaned and shaking his head replied, "Oh man, you fell for that line? I don't believe it-"

Amanda responded in a hurt tone as she looked at him, "Yes I did because that's all that was between us that weekend, Lee. Men and women can communicate without bringing sex into it. He gave me his number and told me to call him in the morning if I changed my mind. That he'd understand if I decided not to meet him."

Amanda then got up and went to the window once more as she continued, "I didn't sleep well that night. I was very confused about everything all of a sudden. I mean, Joe and I just had an argument. That was no reason to throw my vows out the window for some complete stranger I'd only known for one day."

Lee swallowed hard and nodded responding, "So, what did you do?"

Amanda shrugged, "I got up and threw the number away. Then I got dressed and packed my things, went to the airport and caught the next flight back to Dulles and went home. Joe was surprised to see me back so soon. I'd told him I missed him and the boys too much and that when we do another trip, we should do it as a family. He apologized for our disagreement about Hilton Head. That he should have gone with me after all. But the EAO soon intervened and that was that."

Lee came up behind her and pulled her gently against him stating, "I'm sorry you went through all that, Amanda. Did you ever see him again anywhere?"

Amanda shook her head replying, "No. And if you don't believe me, look at the file. The first and last time I ever saw the man was in 1976. Of course if you still doubt me, then we have a whole other problem, don't we?"

Lee kissed her cheek and shook his head remarking, "No, because I do believe you. I need to refresh my drink. Can I redo yours?"

Amanda hugged him tightly against her and nodded stating, "Sure, because it's onto your story now. Hopefully, it won't be as earth shattering as mine was."

Lee sighed as he took both drinks over to the bar and commented, "I never said our stories would be earth shattering but they might make us slightly uncomfortable, okay?"

Amanda gave him a small smile as she went back to the couch and sat thinking, Lee and Francine? Uncomfortable would be one way of putting it...

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

The Talk

Chapter 3

As Lee sat on the couch gathering his thoughts Amanda asked, "Wait. Before you tell me anything, is there a chance it would get back to Francine somehow?"

Lee shrugged and stated, "Only if we'd had the discussion at the office. But I think that if she really knew how important you are to me, she'd understand."

Clapping his hands together he remarked, "Okay, let's do this. How about you telling me what you've heard over the years and I'll fill in the blanks?"

But Amanda shook her head at him and responded vehemently, "Oh no, Pal! Because that would just be your typical grapevine stuff. No. I meant what I said before about wanting a real relationship where we don't keep secrets from one another. Besides, Francine couldn't have been that difficult-"

Lee nearly choked on the sip that he took of his drink and coughing answered with a laugh, "Honey, you have no idea!"

Amanda rolled her eyes and groaned at him commenting, "Oh, gimme a break-"

Lee then wiped his mouth with the napkin he'd brought over and clearing his throat remarked, "When I first got to know Francine Desmond, she was a complete enigma. Much like you were when we first met."

Amanda raising an eyebrow at him retorted, "Oh really? Well, this should be fascinating to say the least-"

Lee then put his hand over hers and responded, "Sweetheart. What I mean is that you and Francine are in a class all by yourselves. There are unique shades to your personalities that make you both memorable..uh, special."

Amanda chuckled slightly and shaking her head stated, "Wow. I don't know if I've just been complimented or insulted here! Care to differentiate that statement?"

Lee sighed thinking, This would be easier if my foot would only stay out of my mouth!

He then began commenting, "Well-"

Amanda cut in and remarked, "Uh, let me guess what attracted you to her. Her spontaneity, her wardrobe and her love of money, right?"

Lee shrugged answering, "Well, she did like the perk of the Agency wardrobe budget but I was referring to her sense of humor-"

Amanda bewilderedly responded, "What?! I never knew she had one! You know how she is with her putdowns of me and-"

Lee stated, "Okay. So she can be a bit prickly at times but it takes a while to get to know her, all right? Anyway-"

Amanda put up a hand responding, "Uh, Lee? We're going on four years of working together now. The ice has just begun to melt. I don't know why she feels so threatened by me. Her life is a lot more exciting then mine-"

Lee gave her a disconcerted look and muttered, "Well thanks a lot, Honey. Glad I've made such a difference-"

Amanda sighed and stated, "Oh, I just mean that she doesn't have to worry about budgeting and all that. Her wardrobe alone speaks for itself-"

Lee shook his head chuckling and remarked, "Guess you forgot when you quit over not getting a raise one time and somehow Francine's wardrobe took a hit-"

Amanda then remembered and nodded answering, " Oops. I had forgotten that."

Lee nodding replied, "Yeah. Remember that case where you two became maids? Billy and I put her to the test by asking her how she'd clean Billy's office and what she'd use."

Amanda swallowed answering, "And?"

Lee scoffed and responded, "She said she'd just clean it up with cleaning things-"

Amanda nodded and stated, "Which is why you came over to my house asking me to become a maid."

Giggling she added, "Boy, she sure didn't like when I told her shed have to clean a bathroom at the party. And she really loved that duster you gave her as a gift later-whew!"

Lee replied, "And that picture of me with the fruit bowl on top that you got from the files? That was courtesy of Francine because of a prank I pulled on her during one of our less than stellar earlier cases. After my first partner died, we worked on some things together..."

Amanda nodded remarking, " I see. So, how did you end up going out?"

Lee commented, "It was just-"

Amanda then pointed her finger at him answering, "Lee Stetson, if you use that tired old line of "It was just one of those things", I'll scream! Besides, if it's over then it won't be hard to talk about, right?"

Lee shrugged and nodded replying, "Yeah. Okay. It was after my partner died and Francine got dumped by Jonathan Stone..."

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

The Talk

Chapter 4

Lee began telling his story when Amanda suddenly queried, "Wait. Jonathan Stone? The man Francine almost married?"

Lee responded the way he had earlier stating, "A-ha! So you have heard things!"

Amanda sighed answering, "Yes, I've picked up a few things here and there. I usually don't pay it any mind, and would you stop with the a-ha's already? It's very annoying, Mister!"

Lee chuckled as he squeezed her hand remarking, "I'm sorry, okay? Well after my partner died, I was bound and determined to go it alone from then on. You know, digging in my heels at any offer of help on a case-"

Amanda shook her head and deadpanned to him, "Oh no! I never knew that about you. Because you were so appreciative of mine after we met-"

Lee groaned and answered hotly, "Do you wanna hear this or not?"

Amanda then contritely commented, "I'm sorry. Go ahead."

Lee sighed and stated, "Thank you. Now, there was something on a case I had to check out at a warehouse just south of town. On my way down, my contact phones me to say it's been handled and I don't need to go there after all. I asked what was going on and he told me that one of our other agents got there ahead of me. That it was a wild goose chase! I asked who it was and he told me it was Francine of all people."

He took a sip of his drink and continued, "After hanging up with the contact, I phone Billy who was just as surprised as I was! See, we had thrown her a shindig the night before to wish her good luck and she was supposed to be gone a couple of weeks. So I go to the warehouse to talk to her but she stuck to business as usual and refused to talk about it. We get back to the Agency and Francine debriefs Billy on what happened and then we tried to get her to open up about her aborted wedding. She just thanked us for our gifts that will be returned of course but said they both got cold feet, end of story. She then claimed to be fine and said she had paperwork to finish and left the office."

Lee shook his head and commented quietly, "Later on, Billy went home for the evening and I told him I'd take another shot at it. She seemed to be on the edge you know, like she was teetering? She didn't seem like herself at all. So after work, I asked if she wanted to go for a drink. That I needed to talk about my late partner. That it was still eating at me-"

Amanda shook her head at him asking, "How could you have done that? Knowing how she must have felt at the time-"

Lee responded, "Look, she wasn't talking about it which can be bad if you're out there doing a case and your mind is not on what you're doing and you're carrying a loaded gun, all right?"

Amanda swallowed and remarked quietly, "Ohh, I see."

Lee nodded and stated, "Yeah. All I wanted to do was help her by sharing how my situation was and maybe we could've helped each other somehow. In a way, both our guts had been ripped out, you know?"

Amanda shuddered at the description but nodded for Lee to continue answering, "So?"

Lee sighed remarking, "So, we knocked back a few at Ned's and she opened up a bit until it dawned on her that we were really there for her situation-"

Amanda stated, "Let me guess. You let her do most of the talking, right?"

Lee shrugged and answered, "I thought I was doing the right thing. I talked too, but not enough to make a difference. Anyway, she saw through my facade soon enough."

Amanda swallowed responding, "I'll bet she was pretty angry-"

Lee nodded as he took another drink swallowing hard and remarked, "Oh, yeah. Beyond angry. I made her come back with me to my place so we could really talk. We got over here and I told her I knew some of the pain she was feeling was hard but if she didn't let it go, she was going to lose her focus as the good agent I knew she was because it had already started happening to me due to my partner's shooting. I told her if she didn't believe me then she should talk to Billy, who told me the same thing to wake me up and get me back on track."

Amanda asked quietly then, "Did she understand that you were just trying to help?"

Lee cleared his throat and replied, "Only after she shoved me across the room and swore like a sailor insisting she didn't need anyone and that she was fine on her own. Then I tried joking with her about what her parents would say-"

Amanda sighed and commented, "Oh, my-"

Lee shrugged and stated, "Yeah, she crumpled to the floor in a heap just bawling her eyes out. I was trying to comfort her as she let everything out about what happened. Next thing we knew, it was morning. It was a bit uncomfortable because we hadn't planned it and we weren't sure where to go from there. So we talked that morning and decided to test the waters. We would try a date or two. Then if it didn't work out we could still be friends. That we'd be there if we needed to talk about anything."

Amanda queried, "So, where did you go?"

Lee smiled answering, "The Stones were in D.C. that week and-"

Amanda giggled interrupting him, "Wait.. Francine Desmond high society gal, was at a rock concert?"

Lee shrugged, "At least she knew the group! A lot of the girls I dated after her... ah, skip it."

Amanda remarked amusedly, "Showing your age a bit huh, Scarecrow?"

Lee nodded and sighed stating, "Yeah okay, I should've asked her where she wanted to go. But it wasn't half as bad as where she took me that weekend. An Art and Wine symposium in NY!"

Amanda smiled and responded, "That sounds nice. But you didn't like it?"

Lee demonstated a reaction by laying back against the couch closing his eyes and letting out a snore!

Sitting up as Amanda laughed heartily Lee shook his head and remarked, "It was a snoozefest!"

Amanda gulped as she wiped away tears of laughter and commented, "Sweetheart, we've been to things like that before! Why didn't you tell me you don't like those ventures?'

Lee stated calmly as he put his hand over hers, "Because we usually get paid to be at those things! That I don't mind, okay? But in general? No way. Anyway, Francine and I talked later and decided we weren't all that right for each other but at least we gave it a shot."

Amanda then sighed and responded, "Gee, it's too bad it couldn't have worked out."

Lee shook his head and pulling her into his lap asked softly, "Oh, yeah? Well if it had you and I would never have met, right?"

Amanda snuggled in his arms answering, "Yeah, you're right! All's well that ends well.."

Lee chuckled as he leaned in for a kiss replying, "Oh, you'd better believe it, Honey.."

The End


End file.
